Sea Sick

To find what I was searching for
They said I'd have to head off shore
And so I went to take a look
I casted out with baited hook
Naively, I dropped them a line
Had no idea what I'd find

'Cause while it's true- there are a lot
I'm unimpressed with what I've caught
And I've amassed here quite a stack
For me to fry up or toss back

Got some with fangs and some with scales
Got ugly ones with big, wide tails
The creatures you will see out here
Will leave you hopeless, full of fear

Stalkers and the fierce man-eaters
Suckers and the bottom-feeders
They're spineless, nearly all I've seen
Some snake-like, evil, serpentine
They lurk and wait out in deep dark
Electrocute you with their spark
They'll ogle you with beady eyes
Or trick you with their smooth disguise

Seem harmless, but then Up they blow
They puff out and their true spikes show
Everywhere, this place is flooded
Predators- they're all cold-blooded
They've got the size, the fangs, the fins
The sharpest smile that always wins

Blood-thirsty, violent carnivores
And stinging, vicious man-of-wars
Some loners, hermits, jerky crabs
Has weapons- swords- he cuts and jabs
His only care is his blowhole
Or breeding is his only goal

They're leeches looking for free-rides
They're barnacles glued to my sides
Their tentacles may only think
Of trying to get it down in ink
And better looking- I'd supposed
Not hammer-headed, bottle-nosed
The horses here- not nearly right
Not princely and not even white

The water's clear and I can see
That this is not a place for me
And while its true that there may be
"A Lot Of Fish Out In The Sea"

Each one that I have seen to date
Would be more useful on a plate,
Seen through glass in some large hall,
Or even mounted on my wall
When I get back upon dry land
I'll hit my knees and kiss the sand!